The Hardest Thing
by Anne O. Nimus
Summary: Ever wonder how the big break-up between Darien and Raye happened? (Guess not) Neways, R&R!!


Disclaimer: 98 degrees and Sailor Moon don't belong to me… yadda, yadda yadda… So don't sue me for anything! One more thing, the album doesn't belong to me either. It's my brother's. (he he he)

Author's note: This song is from the album _98 degrees and rising_. And duh! Performed by the group 98 degrees! 

This is my 1st songfic ever so be patient on me. Lyrics are inside the { }. I know it's ugly so pls. Oh please! No flames on the review if you are writing one. Anyway, enjoy! Another thing, I will not rewrite the whole chorus over and over again because it's too darn long! NOW you can start reading! 

"The Hardest Thing" sung by: 98 degrees

{Start music}

" Let me see, how should I put this, uhm…" Darien thinks. It was 8:51 in the evening. "Look, I know… no, too dramatic." He walks back and forth. 

{We both knew}

{That I should be here}

{This is wrong}

{And baby it's killin' me}

" Why is the wind so cold tonight?" Raye says as she looks up in the sky. She feels that something is wrong. " Why do I feel so jumpy all of a sudden? There's something wrong. There _must_ be something wrong!" She tells herself quietly.

{It's killin' you}

{Both of us trying to be strong}

" It's like this… no, I know this will… no, I hope you can understand…" Darien keeps thinking.

{I've got somewhere else to be}

{Promises to keep}

{Someone else who loves me}

{And trusts me fast asleep}

"It's not that I have someone else, it's just that… no. Think, think, think!! It's not that I… Why?!" He can't get it out.

{I've made up my mind}

{There's no turning back}

{She's been good to me}

{And she deserves better than that}

Raye starts meditating. 

"Something's wrong… really wrong." She stops. 

"I have a feeling someone will tell me bad news… tomorrow. But what? And who?"

She goes outside and looks at the sky.

"No moon. No stars. Just black. I have a bad feeling about this."

"Raye, I'm sorry, so sorry… no. How can I put this straight?" Darien keeps thinking. 

It was 9:48 in the evening. And the night wasn't getting any younger.

{It's the hardest thing}

{I'll ever have to do}

{To look you in the eye}

{And tell you I don't love you}

"How am I supposed to tell you that…" He looks at her picture. That soft black hair, those beautiful, charming eyes, that innocent smile… what more can you ask for?

{It's the hardest thing}

{I'll ever have to lie}

{To show no emotion} 

{When you start to cry}

"Poor Raye, I'll hurt her badly. I'll leave a scar on her… maybe not forever, but for a long time… a really long time." Darien thought aloud to himself.

Raye walks back and forth. "I just can't stay put in one place and I don't know why!" She feels very uncomfortable. "It makes me want to cry! Oh, I know! I'll call up somebody! Yes, I should do that. But I wonder if they're all awake at this point of time. Let me think… I know!" She runs inside heading for the phone, ready to complain to a certain person.

"Hello? Darien? Oh thank goodness your awake!" Raye says relieved.

"Raye?! I mean, Raye! I was just… thinking about… you."

"Oh, how sweet of you to say that! You make me feel better."

"Really? I do?" Darien said still shocked.

"Yes, you do. You see… something's bothering me. But now, it's going away, little by little. Can you tell me stories? Not bedtime stories, but chat with me for a while. Are you wide awake?"

"Yes, very much awake. So, what do you want us to talk about?"….

It took them a long time to say goodbye since Raye loved to hear that voice of his. It was like a comforter for her. It was something special. And just by talking on the phone to the person she treasures means a lot to her.

{Can't let you see}

{What you mean to me}

{When my hands are tied}

{And my heart's not free}

{We're not meant to be}

The next day at 3:00 in the afternoon, Darien and Raye coincidentally bumped on to each other.

"Darien! It's so nice to see you!" Raye says as she throws herself to him and kisses his left cheek. Darien does not react.

"Is there something… do you have a problem you would want to talk about?" Raye asks.

"Raye, you might want to sit first." He says calmly.

"Okay, if you say so." 

"Raye, this might hur…harm you a bit. (Right, a bit. Nice going Darien.)"

"Why?" Raye asks half scared.

"You see, I… I… don't know how to say this, but could you just listen very well to what I am supposed to say?"

"Sure."

"You know, the moment I saw you, I knew that you would be a good friend and I didn't make a mistake because you are. You're caring, kind, responsible, religious, and more, which I can't enumerate because you have a lot of good qualities, which other people don't have. And I'm sure that your other friends will see the same qualities I see in you."

"So, what do you mean?"

"I don't mean anything, just, please listen for a while okay?"

"I understand. Go on."

{It's the hardest thing} 

{I'll ever have to do}

{To turn around and walk away}

{Pretending I don't love you}

"When we got together as partners, I became happy because I know that you're a good person. I'm not saying that I wasn't happy before we entered a relationship, I was just happy because I have a good friend with me who may be with me forever in my life. (But I guess that will never happen Raye.) Everyday in my life was a new chapter since you were there always by my side. I had someone to guard, which I pretty much enjoyed because I like serving other people. I had someone to be with when I feel lonely. I had someone to talk to when I had good news and bad news to share. (Oh yes, and I tell you this is certainly bad news.) I had someone who would help me research when I have a hard time looking for a book which I can use as a resource. I had someone who would help me cram my projects. Most of all, I had someone whom I knew would trust me and love me as who I am. But there came a time when I thought about my feelings towards you…"

"So its either you want us to get engaged or us to break-up isn't it?"

"Raye, please-"

"Darien, could you just go straight to the point because I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. My eyes are watery and I'm feeling nervous, excited, and scared at the same time. And I just can't bear the pressure anymore." Raye starts crying.

"… Raye just stay calm and everything will be fine." Darien says as he tries his best not to look at the crying Raye beside him.

"Just go straight to the point and I'll feel… I don't know."

"It just doesn't feel right. I don't feel love around you anymore… it's more of friendly love and not the kind of love that I used to feel for you. Its just not right to have a relationship with someone whom you don't love anymore. I guess we're not meant to be together."

{I know that we'll meet again}

{Fate has a place and time}

{So you can go no with your life}

{I've got to be cruel to be kind}

{Like Dr. Zhivago} 

"So… I guess it's over between us, huh Darien?" She says trying to hold back her tears.

"Yes Raye."

"Well, I can't say anything. I'm speechless. (So he was the one who was going to tell me bad news. No wonder he was surprised on the telephone last night.)"

"Raye, we are still friends are we? I don't want anyone getting mad at me."

"Yeah, sure we're still friends. Why won't we be?"

{All my love I'll be sending}

{And you will never know}

{'Cause there can be}

{No happy ending} [Chorus]

They sat beside each other for one hour without talking to each other. Both were hurt inside. They're just not showing it. All there was, was silence.

At 4:34, Raye stands up. 

"I guess I better go. I have to clean the temple. (Yeah right clean the temple. All I know is that I have to cry because I can't let him go.) See you around Darien." She starts walking slowly.

"Raye." Darien calls as he stands up.

She looks back. 

"See you some other day." He tells her.

She continued walking. Darien watched her as her figure starts to fade away.

{Maybe another time, another day}

{As much as I want to, I can't stay}

{I've made up my mind}

{There's no turning back}

{She's been good to me}

{And she deserves better than that} [Chorus]

*That's it amigos! The one's in the () are the things that go through their mind if you don't get it. Anyway, since it sucks, I don't deserve a review. But no flames!!

Chow!!


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